Valeriana officinalis For those who have not had their need for love fulfilled in their childhood. Valerian is the essence for the “lost child” - someone who appears to be in need of help and support. Instinctively one feels one’s heart go out to people like this - they seem so alone and helpless. In reality, direct help is probably not needed at all. Usually the original cause of the problem is a childhood deprived of true love. Although they may put a brave face on things, deep down they feel bereft and unable to love other people. They also know that something within them needs the love, support and encouragement that was not available to them when they were young. Valerian encourages the development of self-love and self-esteem, and gradually reduces the need for external support. This in turn reduces the demands made on others.